Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Senior Sex Scandal

Ok, so there's no film called Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Senior Sex Scandal (I hope!) but I thought I'd combine the last couple of films I watched in the cinema into a pithy headline...

My last cinema trip of 2009 was to Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes and I emerged from the cinema with mixed feelings. While Sherlock Holmes was thoroughly entertaining (explosions, slow-mo fight sequences that put the Wachowski brothers to shame, high speed chases) I was nonetheless extremely disappointed by its essential lack of substance. Guy Richie's interpretation was cinematographically speaking, very skillfully crafted, managing to evoke Arthur Conan Doyle's smoggy, festering, Victorian London beautifully. In spite of this, I'd be amazed if anyone who is at all familiar with the clever,intricate stories that Arthur Conan Doyle created was genuinely satisfied by this limp and predictable plot. Where was the suspense? Where were the twists? Where were the mind-boggling acts of deduction? All of this was dispensed with in exchange for an unnecessarily sexed-up story. Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes can be found handcuffed naked in hotel rooms and his crafty female adversary Irene Adler is little more than a glorified courtesan here. I was surprised Richie didn't go the whole hog and hone in on Holmes' Opium addiction, just to round off his degeneracy nicely. While Guy Richie's daring (arrogance?) in taking an established and much-loved character and devising an entirely new story around him should be celebrated- I simply wish he'd taken the time to match (if not surpass) the quality of the original text.



Last night I went to see Nancy Meyers' latest effort It's Complicated starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. To say that it was predictable from the outset is a profound understatement. I think Nancy Meyers is one director whose ardent love of the 1+1=2 school of filmmaking will never fade. I imagine Meyers' modus operandi when producing a new film is something like this:

1. Cast established, essentially wholesome-looking Hollywood star (tick),
2.Identify unfeasibly sundrenched/picturesque location (see The Holiday (tick),
3. Dress interior sets in a palette of showhome-like neutrals (tick),
4. Establish protagonists' likeability by demonstrating a moderate propensity for emotional instability and/or social awkwardness (tick),
5. Introduce protagonist's love interest at a convenient moment
6. credits




Aside from this, It's complicated has the problem of appearing to suggest that it's ok to have an extramarital affair as long as your mistress is a) Meryl Streep and b) your ex-wife. This wouldn't really be a problem if the film wasn't simultaneously so saccharine. Nancy Meyers seems to be saying "Yes, Alec Baldwin is cheating on his wife of several years with Meryl Streep but it's all in good fun, and everyone lives in a nice house, what's your problem?" Unchallenging and predictable, Nancy Meyers has found her magical formula and she's sticking to it because,on the most basic level, it works. Don't be fooled by the fact that It's Complicated explores relationships and romance between 'older people', nobody says "movie star" like Meryl Streep! This is standard, bland 'romantic comedy' at it's best(worst?).

The Ultimate Picture Palace

This blog is named after one of my all-time favourite independent cinemas, the Ultimate Picture Palace in Oxford, just off Cowley road. Now, I'm reluctant to blithely join the ranks of those people who bemoan multiplexes just for the sake of it (some multiplexes are actually very good at screeing a broad spectrum of films) but it has to be said that my local Vue- with it's plush red seats,gargantuan screens and generally respectable clientele- couldn't hope to have a fraction of the character and charm of the (let's face it) hovel that is the Ultimate Picture Palace. I actually mean this in the nicest possible way. If I'm honest, I'm not even sure if the Ultimate Picture Palace can legally be considered a cinema since, as far as I'm aware, it doesn't even serve popcorn and the whole thing consists of a tiny ticket kiosk and one screening room. You walk through the front door and you literally find yourself in front the screen- at some stage somebody clearly decided that a corridor would be decadent; you've got to admire the simplicity.

The screening room has a real sense of atmosphere that I think lends itself beautifully to beautiful films. Any philistine who genuinely believes that it doesn't matter where you watch a film should go to the Ultimate Picture Palace. It's hard to pin down exactly what the cool, shabby,unpretentious interior of the Ultimate Picture Palace lent to the films I watched there because it's ultimately intangible. Nonetheless, I know that somehow my experience would have been different if I hadn't seen those films at the UPP. Take, for instance, The Battle of Algiers, I really feel that its gritty, tense cinematography was enhanced by the screening room's threadbare appearance. It just wouldn't feel right watching a film as dark and claustrophobic as The Battle of Algiers in the sanitised, sterile environment of the local multiplex. I'm a real believer in the cinema being a full experience, it's not just about the pictures on the screen but the ambience of the building which can add to a film in wonderful and unexpected ways.

If you're ever in Oxford, do check out the Ultimate Picture Palace- you probably won't get popcorn, there's likely to be something sticky on the floor and the upholstery will invariably be peeling away but you'll come away with a warm fuzzy feeling- I promise you.

Unromantic Comedy

Watching When Harry Met Sally last night on TV I was struck by how the romantic comedy genre is well and truly dead. Now, given the recent wave of sacharine 'RomComs' like 27 dresses and Jenifer Aniston's appaling Love Happens you might be forgiven for thinking that I'm not really on top of the latest cinema releases but actually, I'm talking about real romantic comedies. You know, actually romantic and- dare I say it- actually funny. I know it sounds obvious but it's amazing how many so-called RomComs fail to portray convincing, realistic relationships in a genuiely hilarious way.

Take the filth that was Made of Honour (which by the way makes no sense as a pun) featuring a slimy Patrick Dempsey as a player and all-round cad trying to steal his best friend from her new Scottish fiance. The hideous climax of the film (set in what appears to be a poster for shortbread) featured Dempsey eventually 'winning' her over before she jilts Johnny foreigner. I think this is meant to leave us with a warm fuzzy feeling but I felt cheated; I mean, romantic comedy?? Really? The central relationship was depressing in it's lack of depth or warmth and there were no laughs! It's all quite lazy- the script development people decide two characters should fall in love but small matters like plausibility and er, plot fall by the wayside...

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to a time when filmakers go back to making proper romantic comedies but until then I'm sticking to the likes of When Harry Met Sally and Annie Hall.

Spoiler Alert? Avatar Extended Trailer

Does anybody else think that the new extended Avatar trailer gives a bit too much away? You know, just little things like the entire plot? Also, who exactly decided that every blockbuster now requires about 50 different trailers before it's released? I mean, first we had the teaser trailer, then the extended teaser, followed by the plain old trailer, then the extended trailer, now we've got the oh-so-crucial extended, HD, widescreen, 3D trailer that promises to shake your soul to the very core. All of this means that by the time we go and see the thing the only surprise will be the end credits! Still, quite looking forward to seeing it! Feast your eyes...